Cheese Trampoline

One of the Doctor's greatest cheese villains, Casserole.

Dalek Cheese Devices

Suspecting The Doctor to be a mouse, the Daleks have armed themselves with cheese-appropriate devices in their fight against him.

Cheese is a food-like substance derived from fossilized milk that is produced in a wide range of flavors, textures, and forms, comprising proteins and fat from prehistoric milk, usually from cows, buffalo, Tyrannosaurus Rexes, goats, or sheep, which is all a bit gross when you really stop and think about it.  Cheese was probably first mined by the ancient Wisconsin Indians whose war-torn land is still known for it’s many cheddar mines.  Hundreds of varieties of cheese from various countries are produced even today but none is so renowned as Doctor Who cheese.  Many episodes of the programme are composed almost entirely of cheese, often comprising 90% or more by weight.  

Cheese appearances in Doctor Who Edit

The Third Doctor was kind of a dick in The Sea Devils and ate an entire fucking plate full of cheese sandwiches intended for Jo Grant, leaving her only the goddamned lettuce garnish.  In Day of the Daleks he also ate Gorgonzola while at Auderly House and encouraged Jo Grant to do likewise, telling her that Daleks themselves smell like Gorgonzola and the scent might camouflage her presence.

In the story A Grand Day Out, The Fourth Doctor and K-9 traveled to Earth’s moon to replenish the TARDIS cheese supply but fall afoul of a skiing robot they encountered there. According to the story "State Of Decayed Milk", cheese apparently existed on the planet Alzarius, but not on a nearby planet also in E-Space.

The Eleventh Doctor associates rats with cheese in The Bells of Saint John.  He also claimed to have a doctorate in cheese making, albeit "only the stinky, brown kind" in The God Complex.  He also used some cheese to poison his roommate Craig in The Lodger so that he could steal Craig’s job and put "the ol’ sonic screwdriver" to his girlfriend.

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