I would eat cupcakes out of it.
It is the bulbous, supple and flabby posterior of Clara Oswald; warm to the touch, sweet to the sniff and somewhat clammy with grillsweat.
Clara’s fat arse is recognized by most civilizations as an object worthy of ravaging, and countless have perished in the pursuit of this noble cause. Just one hero possessed a horsecock fit for the task, but the mental strain of a valiant effort proved too great and he subsequently forgot to SPLINK.
The presence of hair in Clara’s fat arse split is still a point of contention amongst Doctor Who scholars.