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Kill yourself.
The Doctor, upon reading this very wiki.

Robert Shearman's Dalek Abscence of Mystery is the best episode of series 1, and probably all of fiction. It marks the return of the Daleks to Doctor Who, and features one of the best Eccleston moments in the series. It also introduces potential companion Adam Mitchell, who has a predictably messy end.

PlotEdit

The Doctor makes a house call to an underground bunker where a paranoid republican billionaire is hiding his aliens from Obama. The Doctor is shocked and enraged to discover the alien "Metaltron", which is so close to infringing on a certain Hasbro property that it probably raised some hackles at the BBC, is actually a Toclafane. Wait, no, that's the unfilmed draft of the episode titled "Absence of the Daleks".
Rob Shearman's Absence of the Daleks

What, did you think I was fucking around with that Toclafane line?

No, it's a Dalek, which gets in an awesome shouting match with the Doctor over the time war. Later events suggest that the Dalek is trying to goad the Doctor into physically striking it during this scene, which just narrowly fails to happen. Afterwards, the Doctor is chained up by the billionaire so he can be dissected for fun and profit, leaving Rose alone with the Dalek.

The Dalek and Rose have a moment, which is hilarious, adorable, and horrifying in equal measure. The Dalek manages to get Rose to tenderly stroke it, which suddenly heals it of the damage it incured while crashing through the Time Lock (probably?). It then sets about calmly (well, calmly as a Dalek can do anything) exterminating everybody in America, starting with a guy who made an ill-timed sucker joke.

What follows is basically an amped up Base Under Siege, resulting in the Dalek killing itself because it's been tainted by Rose's chavvy hands and filled up with internet pornography. The Doctor is told he would make a good Dalek, Rose canoodles or spoons with a skeevy nerd, and the billionaire is left wandering the streets of "somewhere beginning with an S", where he no doubt meets and falls in love with Dr. Grace.

ReceptionEdit

I'd like to thank you all for coming to the reception. Me and Dalek are going to be very happy for the rest of time, thank you again so much. It's just a shame that it's not canon.

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