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Gayzer Hiney is an actor who played the Second Doctor's ladyboi crossdressing companion Joomoo McCroomoon. He's starred in moar episodes of Cocktah Screw than anyone else, besides Billy, Pitty, Jinny and Timmy. His legs and balls must've been absolutely fucking freezing in that kilt when filming Season 5 - I mean, Invasion of the Furries was filmed on a Welsh mountain, and both The Prediction of a 21st century dictator and Fury from Victoria's underwear both have scenes filmed on a windy ass beach.

Legend says that he foresaw the creation of Big Finish 12 years before it formed, which lead him to decapitate Pat and steal his voicebox so he could get paid double for voicing both Jamie and the Doctor. Peter Purves did this to Hartnell too. Still barely clinging onto life, Bill and Pat's floating heads tried to warn JNT of what had happened, but JNT was on some dope shit and instead decided to hire them for his lastest blockbuster smash.

He and Deborah "U wot"ling were thrilled when two of their long lost porn parodies Bend me over the World and The Smeg of Fear were recovered from Nigeria, greatly contributing to saving Jamie and Victoria from their status as "victims of the missing episodes", although there is still a lot more work to be done. Ah well, at least they're not Ben and Polly.

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