Romana Shada

The Honorable Sarah Jill "Lalla" Ward is a recurring background character from the TV series Doctor Who, appearing in the background in novels like Happy Endings and The Dying Days.

Story Edit

Lalla arrived on Earth in 1951. To avoid being made Queen of England, she rearranged history so that the crown would no longer descend from the Plantagenets, in the now-famous story seen in such BBC documentaries as Henry VII, The Tudors, and Game of Thrones.

After their mixed results in trying to convincingly portray aliens such as Susan and Romana 1 with human actors on a BBC budget, the producers of Doctor Who decided to hire an actual Time Lady to play Romana 2. As a Shakespearean actress who regularly worked with people like Derek "The Two Best Mattresses" Jacobi, and even performed in prestigious Hammer horror films, she was overqualified for the job, but Tom Baker was able to use his telepathic abilities to convince her to join him on the show, and in bed, and sometimes behind the set backdrops. She appeared on the show for a year, and spent another 18 months portraying Baker's wife.

In her spare time, with her best friend Douglas Adams, Lalla invented the religion of Atheism. In 1992, the great old one Athes finally awoke and came to Earth in the form of Richard Dawkins, married his high priestess Lalla, and established his dominion over the Internet. She then retired from acting to become the world's first celebrity in the field of thread drawing, inspiring the story of Being John Malkovich. In 2016, bored with The Price is Right, she left Dawkins, and has spent the time since exploring all of space and time with her robot dog to learn the deepest secrets of knitting.

Reception Edit

As 66 is basically still a preteen for Time Ladies, Lalla does not qualify as a MILF—in fact, you are a paedophile for all those times you fantasized over her in City of Death. But, even knowing that, you still can't stop yourself, can you? Sicko.

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