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Wow, you're the new companion? That's so great! Remember all that time I spent pretending to be friends with Mark Gatiss in hopes he could get us closer to our favourite show? Oops, I meant my favourite show, of course, not ours. And now I don't get to costar on it, but my former best friend and collaborator does. I can't think of anything that could make me happier.
— David Walliams, probably


Matt "Use the Force" Lucas, known as Alopecia Ridden Ballbag to his friends and others named Matt, plays Nor-Dell on the BBC superhero show El Doctor Mysterio.

Background Edit

Playing a vaguely humanoid hairless alien cyborg from the future is a stretch for Lucas, who is not a cyborg.

When asked why he hired a has-been comedian as the new companion, Steven Moffat explained that after writing the 2017 Christmas special, he plans to lie down and die, and needs someone to cover themselves in flour and lie on top of him before turning into Chris Chibnall to write the last two lines. "Matt Lucas is the key to the whole thing." Nobody has been able to figure out what this means.

When asked why he’s such a cunt, he replied “I can’t help myself”

Lucas' main claim to fame was BTFO'ing noted arsewipe Mark Wahlberg, who developed an inexplicable (and possibly sexual) hate complex towards the bald fellow for reasons yet to be ascertained. Hostile activities towards Lucas included tweeting him rude messages, adding the above (unfunny) one-line paragraph to this article, and gifting us with the iconic phrase "alopecia-ridden ballbag". Rumours suggest this is the only pleasure he derives from life.

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