I will not DIE!
Doctor Who hell bent president

The latest lamest incarnation of Rassilon.

Old Man

New Rassilon, useless as tits on a bull.

This is the Article of Rassilon, creator of the Game of Rassilon and Seal of Rassilon, founder of Time Lord civilization during the Great Days of Rassilon (along with Omega and the Other if you're into the Cartmel Masterplan).

The Character of Rassilon Edit

He is regarded as the single greatest figure of Gallifreyan history and the first ever Time Lord (though some would say that's Omega. Or Savile.)

He can also be a villainous bastard when the chips are down.

The Appearances of Rassilon Edit

Rassilon + Ten

Excerpt from The End of Time.

The Five Doctors - played by Richard Mathews. Appeared as a holographic ghost or something and turned Time Lords into stone.

The End of Time - played by fucking Timothy "Bond, James Bond" Dalton that's fucking who. Notable for fucking embarrassing every other member of the cast. Timothy thought he was in a show with solid writing and acting, boy was he mistaken!


You are now fucked.

Hell Bent - played by Donald "We Couldn't Afford Dalton" Sumpter and promptly cast aside, possibly to appear in future stories. Notable for being complete shite in comparison to the previous incarnation, having gone from an awe-inspiring force of nature to an old man apparently three seconds away from shitting his pants.

Razzers has also appeared in audios, usually played by Don "Black President" Warrington, who's a lot better than Whingy Rassilon but still no James Bond Rassilon (since only Idris Elba can be Black James Bond).

He also appeared in comics even before he'd appeared on TV, way back when Alan Moore was writing what would later be the totally originally Cartmel Masterplan, and later in books where Marc Platt reused the plots of those comics.


Time Lord spit.

The Kit of Rassilon Edit

Rassilon™ comes with a shitload of kit including:

  • The '''Sash of Rassilon
  • The Crown of Rassilon
  • The Key of Rassilon
  • The Rod of Rassilon (kek)
  • The Coronet of Rassilon
  • The Harp of Rassilon
  • The Ring of Rassilon
  • The Black Scrolls of Rassilon
  • The Rave of Rassilon
  • The Dildo of Rassilon
  • The Rassilon's Rassilon of Rassilon
  • The Seal of Rassilon
  • The Rassilawn