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Rats And Mice

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Both mice (singular: "mouse") and rats (singular: "tart") are separate species of very small mammalian rodents native to Earth and possibly other parts of the universe; rats are larger than mice but smaller than my penis (I've checked). Both species, like Mel, Adric and Rose, are generally considered pests by humans although they may also be kept as pets, also like Mel, Adric and Rose.  When a mouse merges with a rat you get a “mit raus”  and “when you’ve got mit raus, get out of your house!” or so goes another dumb nonsensical nursery rhyme Moffat’s cooked up.   Both species have turned up from time to time as part of the programme Doctor Whiskers.  Daleks consider rats and mice their greatest enemy (even more so that The Doctor, whom they’ve often mistaken for a mouse) and will call for the exterminator every time they see one. In keeping with the programme’s tradition of frequently overwhelming use of profanity, every Doctor who (ha!) has met Davros has always refused to speak his name aloud, referring to him as “that rat-bastard” instead.

Specific Instances Of Rats And Mice Edit

Learn the differences

Knowing the difference might save your life.

In the story “The Reign of Terror,” the First Doctor’s granddaughter Susan was frightened by the rats she saw in the jail cell where she and Barbara Right were imprisoned in during 18th century France.  The show began recycling lame material just three years later when Polly was virtually incapacitated by her fear of rats in a 17th century jail the story "The Smugglers."  The Doctor used this fear to get her to do things, threatening to put her “in the rat cage” if she didn’t obey.  She wept a lot and left the Tardis crew soon after. The story “The Daleks’ Master Plan” (which confused a lot of time-traveling Whovians by featuring nothing from Andrew Caramel nor The Master) depicted two scientists named Frozyn and Hymnal in the year 4000 who intended to test their new long-range teleportation system by sending two lab mice to the planet Misra. The Daleks later exterminated the mice (yes, this really happened) by running over them back and forth a number of times, leaving bloody smears and red footprints around the set and traumatizing a generation of British children. OK, so that part didn't actually happen but it would have been pretty funny to see if it had.

The Second Doctor stated numerous times that he didn't believe in mice nor rats, so they never appeared during his seasons, although he did later see one during "The Two Doctors" (described below, but beware, it's a Colin Baker story).

In “The Mind Of Evil”, the Third Doctor saw Arthur Linwood, a medical student in the 1970s with a morbid fear of rats and disco, die at Stangmoor Prison when the Keller Machine turned his fear against him. His fear was so great that rat bites and scratches manifested on his face and neck and a disco ball materialized above his corpse.  Behind the scenes, the actor Jon Pertsplink acquired a field mouse as a temporary pet during a break in the location filming for “The Mutants” at Stone Ham Farm in Friendsbury, Kent. He named the mouse Solos, after the planet featured in the story.  Later he “accidentally” dropped it down Katy Manning’s jumper just to see her tear it off.

The Fourth Doctor made Leela inhale some laughing gas in “The Robots Of Duh,” then called her "mouse" which made her laugh a lot.  She later tried to stab him for making fun of her so.  He also picked up a fucking gun during “The Talons Of Wang Chung Tonight” and shot at the most famous rat in Doctor Who history, the worst “giant rat” prop you ever saw someone make for pocket change - something the show is still trying to live down.  He is also seen carrying a toy mouse in this rodent-centric episode, but I’ve forgotten why already. During “Destiny of the Daleks”, Romana II on Skaro hinted that a determined mouse could get over a barrier the Fourth Doctor was putting up.  Yes, Tardis Data Core really spent the time to type in that last one on their page for "mouse" because they are that fucking obsessive.  They did however 100% fail to note that “The Deadly Assassin” saw Gallumfrey almost completely destroyed by "subsidence owing to a plague of mice", which so embarrassed the Timelords that they followed the Doctor in lying about the near-catastrophe, saying that Sontarans had caused all the trouble.  Man, those TDC idiots…  “The Keeper Of Traken” showed the Fourth Doctor reacting poorly when a mouse scurried up a column inside the Tardis while he was giving a rather grave speech to Adric.  The Doctor flipped out and chased down the mouse with a cricket bat while yelling about “all these goddamn vermin on the Tardis;" humorously enough, you can see the actor playing Adric flinch at these words.

The Fifth Doctor stopped a plague created by the Terriblentils in 1666 from being spread by rat fleas in the story “The Visitation.”  He also found some rats on Striker’s Edwardian yacht during “The Enlightenment" - totally worth noting here! We are nothing if not obsessed.

BBC Radiophonic

The BBC Radiophonic Workshop often made use of trained rats to provide the incidental music used on Doctor Who.

“The Two Doctors” showed how ‘Shockeye of the Quenching Grig’ caught a rat in the cellar of a Spanish hacienda in the 1980s, broke its neck and began to devour it raw, while the Sixth Doctor speculated what a “rat pie” might taste like.  Shockeye told him that he was displeased with the taste, hypothesizing [note: those Tardis Data Core bastards don't even spell-check their shit, this was spelled "hypothesising" there; sometimes I wonder why we even bother to steal from them] it might be more tolerable smoke-dried.  The Rani told the Sixth Doctor in the story "The Mark Of The Rani” that she had been exiled from Gallantfrey after she had grown some of her lab mice to enormous size and one had eaten the Lord President's pet cat, then bit the President himself, triggering a regeneration.  Seriously, this also happened, and tells you everything you need to know about the Pip and Jane Bakers.

Not that anyone was watching the show during the Seventh Doctor’s run, but it was said that “Paradise Towers” had a rat population after it fell into ruin.  I’m not sure if they meant the story itself or the place within the story.

Mickey Smith proved himself a real pussy in the early 2000s when he found the freeze-dried rats the Krillitane ate while undercover at Deffry Vale High School during the story “School Reunion Wot With Sarah Jane Smith."  Sarah Jane Smith mentioned during the episode that dead giant rats were used as a teaching tool in schools, although this practice had been discontinued by Rose Tyler's time; she proved this by hauling the crumbling “giant rat” prop used in “The Talons Of Wing Chunk” from a school closet, but shrieked when a tiny mouse crawled out of one of the eye sockets.  Later during Ten’s run in “The Doctor’s Daughter.” he too is seen carrying a toy mouse; no idea why though.

The Eleventh Doctor once claimed to hate rats and twats in “The Wedding of River Song,” and frequently mentioned associating rats with cheese in “The Bells of Saint Joan.”  He was also told by Viking Gatiss in the 52nd century (“The Wedding Night Of River’s Thong”) that any rats that snuck into the Seventh Transept were eaten by the badly CGIed carnivorous skulls.

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