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A long time ago, I was in Burma.
— Bob Holmes aka. The Dark Knight


Morbius 2

The Morbius Holmes.

Robert Colin Holmes

Killed by The Ultimate Foe. Never forget.

Robert "Bobby-O" Holmes was a writer of penny dreadful pornography and uncle of the famous detective Sherlock in the 1800s. Wrote a bunch of much-loved Doctor Who stories and took over from Tewwance Dicks as script editor from 1975 to 1977.

Story Edit

In the midst of a terrible winter, Robert Holmes fell into the Thames and was frozen for 70 years, where he somehow ended up in the sea and was washed up in Burma. When he was thawed out by the BBC's Burmese Torture Camp Division, he was invited to write for the series Doctor Who, which he basically did until the show killed him with its terribleness in 1986.

Along the way, he presided over the First Golden Age of Doctor Who, railed against taxes, tried to kill the Doctor and cancel the show numerous times, and (with Letts and Dicks) created the Mattress.

The Talons of Racism Edit

Also had a bit of a hateboner (or maybe just a regular boner) against Asians (forget about "Talons" or that 80's Singapore script, he wrote a film (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060544) where the alium invaders all look and are played by Asians), no doubt because a Thai hooker fucked off with his wallet without sucking him off first back in his days in Burma. This has earned him a death-warrant from SJWs who will tell you about how racist "Talons" is and will tell you again and again despite everyone knowing about it - it's not exactly very fucking subtle. Because apparently an episode of a kids show from the 70's is very relevant to today's sociopolitical climate.

Trivia Edit

Wrote more stories for Classic Who than any other writer (64 episodes in all).

Appeared in The Brain of Morbius as one of The Morbius Doctors. Heartbreakingly, this renders Holmes and all of his stories non-canon. Because Holmes wrote The Caves of Androzani this means the Fifth Doctor never canonically regenerated and Colin Baker (and everything that followed) must be considered entirely non-canon.

Televised Stories Edit

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