|“||I liked the fart joke in episode 6.||”|
Reminder to check out What we learned in Series 9.
Series 8 Recap Edit
- Peter Capaldi joined the cast of Doctor Who after being promoted from Jenna Coleman's personal seat.
- As per usual Muppet took a shit on the scripts.
- IT WAS PRETTY GOOD
GOAT BEST OF NUWHO
- MISSY a GOAT GET HYPE NIGGAS
- To get Americlaps to watch the credits the Jews placed a teaser for the Christmas Special in Death in Heaven for Series 8 and launching Series 9 after the second row of credits revealing that Nick Frost is Robin Hood.
Official Objective Reception Edit
Official Objective Power Rankings Edit
Non-Canon Episodes of Series 9: Edit
|Episode Title||Written by||Description|
|Steven Moffat||The Doctor encounters a child molester who strikes on the same date every year. It's up to him and Clara to save the alien crab children of the North Pole. A classic retelling of the childhood story Inception guest-starring Jimmy Savile as Santa Claus. Actually pretty based episode, except for the Doctor Who Old-Age Makeup team doing their thing for the second Christmas special in a row.|
|The Magician's Apprentice||Steven Moffat||The Doctor and Clara team up with UNIT in an encounter with The Mattress. BASED DAVROS RETURN GET HYPE. WILL BTFO OF STOLEN EARTH/JOURNEYS END GET HYPE FAGGOTSSSS. SUPREME AND SPECIAL WEAPONS AS WELL!
I, DAVROS FANS ON SUICIDE WATCH
|The Witch's Familiar||Steven Moffat||Part two of the series opener.
Missy turns Clara into an intelligent talking robotic cat that she keeps with her at all times, probably.
|Under The Lake||Toby Whithouse||Water and shit. It's got an ID4 monster in it, and it gets hit by a quality wave.|
|Before the Flood||Toby Whithouse||More water and monsters n all that.
Something about time travelling ghosts and also a deaf girl.
|The Girl Who Died||Jamie Mathieson and Steven Moffat||Underrated Episode. I suspect people saw Jamie Mathieson's name and were expecting something similar to Mummy/Flatline when instead it was a silly romp episode and Doctor Who isn't allowed to have those. It's very low stakes, with The Doctor trying to save a small town of vikings from Odin and The Mire. Which is good because whenever the stakes are too high it's harder to become invested in the episode. Odin is great, he literally drinks testosterone. How can you not like that? For some reason people were triggered by the resolution even though humiliating the villain and threatening to destroy it's reputation is Doctor Who as fuck. It also has some great character moments with 12/Clara. The scene with 12/Clara talking about leaving is one of the best of the series.|
|The Woman Who Lived||Catherine Tregenna||Also an underrated episode. All of the character scenes between 12 and Ashildr are pretty good. That being said, the lion man was dumb and unnecessary. Episode would have been way better if it had no monster.|
|The Zygon Invasion||Peter Harness||Peter Harness - Yay. Osgood - Yay. Zygons - Yay.|
|The Zygon Inversion||Peter Harness and Memein' Stopthat||Hopefully good. And what the hell do they mean by inversion? It better not turn out to be some stupid shit like Kill the Hype.
Starring Osgood's Box.
|Sleep No More||Mark Gatiss||Spooky apparently.
ITS CONFIRMED FOR FOUND FOOTAGE, BRACE FOR LOVE AND MONSTERS 2: MONSTROUS BOOGALOO ITS OVER ITS ALL OVER THE PLATINUM AGE IS FUCKING OVER!!!!!!!!!
|Face the Raven||Sarah Dollard||The Doctor and friends face off against a muscle bound shaman, an edglord CBBC gameshow host and a psychic teenager/demon. Rigy's world gets flip turned upside down.|
|Heaven Sent||Steven Moffat||Moffat finally realises Capaldi is the only thing we're all here for and abruptly jettisons all other aspects of the series. The entire episode is Capaldi talking to himself.
Gallifrey returns in the cliffhanger.
Just a little reminder that the above was written at least 3-4 months pre-Heaven Sent, and is exactly spot on. That's literally the entire episode. BRAVO /WHO/
|Hell Bent||Meven Stoffat||The Doctor degenerates back to David Tennant to please the fangirls. Peter Capaldi kills himself. Paul McGann finally attains his true title as Last of the /who/lords. Clara is kill, kill for good? probably not.|
Canon Episodes of Series 9: Edit
|Episode Title||Written by||Description|
|The Christmas Cavity Search||Steven Moffat||Guest staring the Easter Bunny, Clara and the Doctor spend their Christmas in an airport being searched for drugs.|
|Midnight 2: Midnight Harder||Steven Moffat||How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice?|
|Billions of Bilstering Barnacles||Steven Moffat||12 regenerates into Captain Haddock and soon bumps into Tintin and Snowy who join the TARDIS crew for new adventures.|
|Let's Kill Hitler 2: Fuhrertastic!||Toby Whithouse||Part 2 of the Hitler saga, it turns out Hitler was right all along, and the Holocaust is an orchestrated lie because only several thousand were killed, not millions, so it was somehow excusable or something. As fate closes in on our helpless heroes, the controllers of all media in the universe: the Jewsians, reveal themselves. Currently filming in Spain and guest starring Pietro Capaldini's deceased mum as a corpse (allegedly killed on set).|
|Let's Kill Hitler 3: Hitler's Final Killing||Toby Whithouse||Hitler's third and last frantic phone call summons the Doctor - he's in over his head! The Russians are closing in, the Americans firebombing (to wacky effect) and he's one of the worst tacticians of the modern age. Can even The Doctor help him? And being such a grumpy-butt these days, will he? Likely to be the finale of Doctor Who Westerns written by Toby Whiteout.|
|Legacy of the Green Cross||Jamie Mathieson and Steven Moffat||The Doctor finds himself at a crossing. But how will he reach the other side safe? Featuring a special appearance from the 3rd Doctor in a flashback scene.|
|Remembrance of the Danny||Catherine Tregenna||A grief-stricken Clara digs up Danny's Cyber-corpse and brings him back to life with the power of love. He immediately wanders into the middle of the road and gets totally fucking REKT. The Doctor laughs.|
|Day of the Ood||Peter Harness||The Ood return for no particular reason. Main character Clara has to sort it out while the Doctor dies of boredom and regenerates into a cat. He fails to save any of them, as usual.|
|Mister Who?||Peter Harness||Rory Williams and Ian Chesternef guest star in this episode, after they both tumble through mysterious wormholes. Clara is overwhelmed by how competent both of these men are that she forgets Danny ever existed, which leads to some sort of wacky escapades and lots of men punching aliens.|
|Cozy||Steven Moffat||All is quiet. The Doctor is relaxing in the Tardis. He makes some tea. The clock chimes. He reads a book. It smells of cinnamon. Wrapping himself up in a blanket, the Doctor, finally, relaxes... IT'S A WHOPPER|
|Uncomfortable||Meven Stoffat||Everything is a ruined. Moffat thinks you won't see this coming. The Eighth Doctor to his horror, leaves Big Finish who and enters a canon run by Moffat, all hope is lost when he realises Charley Pollard has become a sassy back talking sycophant and his TARDIS has become Helen Bolon Carter.|
|Eras of Doctor Who|
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