Sydney Cecil Jew-man (aka. Slippin' Sydney, Colonel Sanders) is a fictional character created by Mark Gatiss. Appeared in An Adventure in Space and Time.

Background Edit

Newman was a Canadian sex offender child enthusiast who is credited with inventing Doctor Who in 1963 when in actuality it was created by Australian-born celebrity chef Adolf Hitler. (Hitler shot himself immediately after conceiving the show when he realised what he had unleashed upon humanity was far worse than anything World War 2 had to offer and he would never be able to top it).

Newman stepped in and hired Verity Lambert as producer based on her impressive track record of vinegar-flavoured golden showers. Lambert cast the notoriously racist crackpot Billy "Race War" Headshot as the Doctor and threw in some bug-eyed monsters to boot, ensuring the complete ruination of the show for decades to come.

In a panel at Panopticon VII, John Wiles claimed that "Herr Newman" (his words not mine) "stalked their nightmares" and enjoyed hearing about fist fights between producers at the BBC headquarters because it meant quality TV was in production. Paul Erickson (writer of The Ark) was also at the panel and described him as a "kindly" man who "had a thing about nuts and salted peanuts". You can't make this shit up, I swear.

Change, my dear Edit

Although the show's terribleness eventually forced him to flee back to Canada, Newman stuck around long enough to oversee the transition between Hartnell and Troughtman as the Doctor, a concept known at the time as a renewal (later becoming regeneration). This masterstroke allowed this black stain on humanity of a program to carry on forever. To this day Doctor Who remains an ongoing parasitical plague that would have made Hitler proud.

Death Edit

Newman died of shame in 1997, finally succumbing to the overwhelming non-canonicity of the TV Movie.