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The Doctor

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You don't understand the implications... I'm not a human being; I wank in eternity...
The Doctor


Current Basil Pietro Capaldini shortly after Steven Moffat found him sat on the street, covered in his own piss, and drinking whiskey out of a two litre bottle.

Young Doctors

Younger days.


Basil is watching you masturbate.

The Future

Take a peek into the future.

Capaldi Kek


Capaldi Deep Breath-0

Eleven regenerates into Twelve.

Sir Basil Please Bad Penny "Disco" Funkenstein-Who (of the Lungbarrow Funkenstein-Whos) of Tardis, D.F.A. is a minor character in the Rose Tyler Martha Jones Donna Noble Amy Pond Rory Williams River Song Clara Oswald Bill and Nardole Show. Everyone loves Basil. He makes men wet. He is a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey who travels through time and space in his TARDIS impregnating young girls with his sonic screwdriver.

He has the ability to regenerate into a new body + face when he is injured/dying, meaning Basil can escape child support payments and the show can feasibly carry on forever with different actors playing Basil. Pretty cool. The most popular Basil to date was played by Jimmy Savile.

Basil has been described as fire and ice and rage. He's like the night, and the storm in the heart of the sun. He's ancient and forever. He burns at the center of time and he can see the turn of the universe. [citation needed] And... he's wonderful.

He is also rude and not ginger. And he will never ever be a woman.

Basils Edit

Also Basils but not really. Edit

Aliases Edit

If you had any more tawdry quirks you could open up a tawdry quirk shop. The madcap vehicle, the cockamamie hair, the clothes designed by a first-year fashion student… I’m surprised you haven’t got a little purple space dog, just to ram home what an intergalactic wag you are. - The Dream Lord.

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