|“||You don't understand the implications... I'm not a human being; I wank in eternity...||”|
— The Doctor
Sir Basil Please Bad Penny "Disco" Funkenstein-Who (of the Lungbarrow Funkenstein-Whos) of Tardis, D.F.A. is a minor character in the Rose Tyler Martha Jones Donna Noble Amy Pond Rory Williams River Song Clara Oswald Bill and Nardole Show. Everyone loves Basil. He makes men wet. He is a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey who travels through time and space in his TARDIS impregnating young girls with his sonic screwdriver.
He has the ability to regenerate into a new body + face when he is injured/dying, meaning Basil can escape child support payments and the show can feasibly carry on forever with different actors playing Basil. Pretty cool. The most popular Basil to date was played by Jimmy Savile.
Basil has been described as fire and ice and rage. He's like the night, and the storm in the heart of the sun. He's ancient and forever. He burns at the center of time and he can see the turn of the universe.  And... he's wonderful.
He is also rude and not ginger. And he will never ever be a woman.
- First Basil, played by William "Wild Willy" Hartnell.
- Second Basil, played by Patrick "Buffers" Troutfish.
- Third Basil, played by Jon "Keeper of the SPLINK" Pertwee.
- Fourth Basil, played by Tom "I fucked Lalla Ward on the TARDIS console" Baker.
- Fifth Basil, played by David Tennant's Dad.
- Sixth Basil, played by Colin "Pie Lord" Baker.
- Seventh Basil, played by Sylvester "My Last Story was Lesbian Furry Porn" McCoy.
- Eighth Basil, played by Paul "Based-ment" McGann.
- War Basil, played by a photoshopped John "Granddad" Hurt in his only canon appearance.
- Ninth (Shalka) Basil, played by Richard "Eazy-E" Grant (this is canon guys).
- Ninth Basil, played by Christopher "I fucking hate Basil Who" Eccleston.
- Tenth Basil, played by David "Got the job by blowing RTD" Tennant.
- Eleventh Basil, played by Matt "Delicious cocaine" Smith.
- Twelfth Basil, played by Peter "Anaconda" Capaldi.
- Thirteenth Basil, played by Nobody No-One.
- Nineteenth Basil, played by Peter Capaldi in Sylvester McCoy's costume.
Also Basils but not really. Edit
- Dr. Who
- The Watcher
- The Morbius Basils
- The Brickyard
- The Meme Basil
- The Rain Basil
- David "Handy" Twonent
- The Animated Second Basil
- The Trevor Martin Basil
- Jackson Lake
- The Dream Lord
- The Shalka Basil
- The Fake First Basil
- The Incumbent Basil
- The Alternate Timeline Basils
- The Drag Basil
- The Canon Basil
- The Shota Basil
- The Best Basil
- The 'Oh fuck it's the 50th and we don't have any Classic series actors' Basil
- Merlin, Guardian of Cartmel
- The Black Female Seventh Basil
- The Jeff Goldblum Basil
- The Kermit Ninth Basil
- "Doctor Who"
- The Other
- John Smith
- Edward Tudor Pole
- The Oncoming Storm
- Time Lord Victorious
- The Beast
- Sir Basil of TARDIS
- Sherlock Holmes
- The Architect
- Time's Champion
- The Great Exterminator
- The Destroyer of Worlds
- Madman with a Box
- Theta Sigma (ΘΣ)
If you had any more tawdry quirks you could open up a tawdry quirk shop. The madcap vehicle, the cockamamie hair, the clothes designed by a first-year fashion student… I’m surprised you haven’t got a little purple space dog, just to ram home what an intergalactic wag you are. - The Dream Lord.