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The Last Great Time War

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Gallifrey falls no more.


Time War

i broked gallifrey

Eleven Time War

BRAVO NOLAN

The Second War in Heaven Last Great Time War was actually not the last and not really that great the conflict between the Time Lords and the Dalek Empire for the destiny of all time and space. Originally serving as a metafictional representation of the gap between the classic series and new series, it's now recognized for achieving absolutely fuck all.

History Edit

After years of meddling in Dalek history, the Daleks responded by attacking Gallifrey, and then some weird stuff happened, and then Nick Briggs thought he could write a story about it, and that's gonna suck.

The Doctor stayed out of it until the events of The Night of the Doctor. He then regenerated into the War Doctor and set out to commit as many war crimes as possible defeat the Daleks who threatened his home and save the universe once more.

Conclusion Edit

The Time War ended when the War Doctor exterminated both races using the Moment the Doctor(s) hid Gallifrey in a pocket dimension and the Daleks all died of stupidity.

Which means that both sides actually survived, and now everybody knows it. So, just like our world's "The Great War" aka "The War to End All Wars" started to sound like a pretty silly name in a couple of decades, they're probably going to have to think of a new name for this one pretty soon.

LoreEdit

The absolute deepest.

Other Last Great Time Wars Edit

After the show had been off the air for a while, every writer independently came up with their own way to save Doctor Who: redo Alan Moore's old Black Sun War and hope nobody notices it's stolen from the comics. It was totally original and brilliant every time.

Colin Meek and Dan Freedman wrote Death Comes to Time, an animated story where there's a big time war in the present that kills all of the Time Lords except the Doctor, the Master, Romana, and Stephen Fry, and it would have destroyed the universe if the Seventh Doctor didn't instead wipe out Gallifrey and die. But really, the Time Lords didn't die, they became gods or something.

Larry Miles and other EDA novel writers wrote books where there's a big time war in the future that will destroy the universe, except that the Eighth Doctor instead wiped out Gallifrey and killed all of the other Time Lords except himself, the Master, Romana, and the guy the Doctor originally stole his TARDIS from. But really, the Time Lords didn't die, they fled into a Klein bottle into another universe and also got uploaded into the Doctor's brain.

Paul Cornell wrote an animated series (well, just Scream of the Shalka) where there'd been a big time war just yesterday that would have destroyed the universe, except that the Eighth or Ninth Doctor changed the war so instead it only killed all the Time Lords instead except himself, the Master, the Lord President who may or may not be Romana, and the Lord President's daughter who was also the Doctor's fuckbuddy. But really, the Time Lords didn't die, they were hiding in the Matrix.

Rusty Davros wrote a bunch of TV episodes where there had been a big time war in the past that would have destroyed the universe, except that the Eight-and-a-Halfth Doctor instead wiped out Gallifrey and killed all of the other Time Lords except himself, the Master, the Woman who's probably his mom and/or Romana, and presumably Stephen Fry even if we haven't seen him yet. But really, the Time Lords didn't die, they got stuck in a pocket dimension at the end of time.

Kate Orman and other Benny novel writers wrote books where The Culture from Iain Banks' books, except they're called The People, have a big time war with the Time Lords, except they're not called The Time Lords, that destroys the universe, except that Benny pulls a Squirrel Girl and makes them all friends. The Doctor, the Master, Romana, and Irving Braxiatel all survive. But really, the Time Lords didn't die, because they didn't die in the first place.

Gary Russell wrote Zagreus, which was the audios' attempt to do a time war, but none of it makes any sense, because Gary was too busy finding roles for every Doctor or companion actor ever, even the ones who weren't alive anymore, and it ends with Romana and Leela going off to have lesbian adventures together like Clara and Arya. Sadly, this did not bring Jon Pertwee or Roger Delgado back to life, but Lalla Ward and Stephen Fry are still alive.

The audios tried again with the Gallifrey series (the aforementioned Romana-Leela lesbian adventures), where they decided to outdo all the other time wars by destroying Gallifrey nine times instead of just once.

Other Not So Great and/or Not So Last Time Wars Edit

  • The one where the Black Sun Order used time travel to try to prevent Gallifrey from discovering time travel.
  • The one where Rassilon, Omega, and the Other accidentally ripped time a new asshole and they had to change history to prevent the creatures from the H.P. Lovecraft out-of-copyright dimension taking over the universe.
  • Then one where a generation after Rassilon the Time Lords went and wiped out all the other races that would develop time travel, except they somehow missed the humans and the Daleks and all the other races that did develop time travel.
  • The one where the Vampires did stuff, which was called the first time war multiple times even though no timey-wimey was involved.
  • The one where Irving Braxiatel wiped out the Deindum before they developed time travel.
  • The one where the Halidons fought the Eternals until the Time Lords settled things.
  • The one where the Omnicraven Uprising was brutally slaughtered until the Time Lords settled things.
  • The one where it's an RTD finale and the Doctor always gets to say "And now the Time War is really over, for real this time." Also the other four RTD finales where the same thing happens.

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