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Bad Wilf

GOAT.

Fantastic Life

"Have a fantastic life".

The Parting of the Ways is the second part of the Series 1 finale. It features the departure of Barrow Man as a main companion and Eccleston as the Doctor, who left the show to do bigger and better things such as starring in classic kinos like Thor: The Dark World and G. I. Joe.

GOAT Edit

This is regarded by all fans as the greatest of all NuWho finales, even those that contest that The Big Bang was their favorite eventually admit they were in denial after receiving Psychiatric Counseling.

PlotEdit

The episode begins where the previous one left off, with the Doctor cumming for Rose. After a terribly simple tongue twister ("fully functional force field, fully functional force field, fully functional force field," now it's your turn, Jack) the Doctor lands on Rose. Jack strips a Dalek naked with the Defabricator, forcing it to self destruct out of embarrassment. After that, the bisexual trio step out to meet the neighbors.

The Doctor shocks and horrifies the Daleks with his use of the Black Speech, and then is shocked and horrified himself to meet the Dalek Emperor. The Emperor informs the Doctor and his two concubines that the Daleks are now Half Human, and just as quickly instructs them that THOSE WORDS ARE BLASPHEMY. DO NOT BLASPHEME. DO NOT BLASPHEME. WORSHIP HIM. WORSHIP HIM. PRAISE HIM. DO NOT INTERRUPT.

The Doctor and his posse then fuck off back to the Game Station where they plan to kill every living thing on earth, just to beat the Daleks to the punch. Captain Jack goes downstairs to try and rally a bunch of dumb sheep-people into action with a rousing speech about how they're all going to die. It, by and large, does not work. Future Doctor Paterson Joseph screams in greedy terror. The Daleks kill everybody.

The Doctor sends Rose to her room so she won't die, and activates Emergency Protocol One, a hologram that tells her to fuck off and let the TARDIS die. Rose and Mickey go out for chips with her mum while, in the future, the Doctor tries to build a death ray to kill everything and everyone on the planet. Lynda-with-a-Y gets shockingly and horribly exterminated, but on the upside we learn that Daleks will say EXTERMINATE even in a soundless vacuum, so that's funny. Also, every human being on planet earth is systematically exterminated, the blasts destroying and deforming whole continents.

Rose complains about how just being a chav working in a shop and eating fast food and having to look at Mickey and Jackie is literally worse than death. After running away to go live in a basketball court, however, she realizes what the rest of the audience has been noticing all season long. Bad Wolf here, bad wolf there, bad wolf bad wolf everywhere.

Somehow, this inspires her to go to the TARDIS and try and tear its soft insides open so she can claim it for herself, which ends up requiring a big yellow truck that Jackie traded sexual favors to a Mexican for. It works. Rose travels Back to the Future.

Meanwhile, in the future, the Doctor has finished the Delta Wave, a death ray that will exterminate all life in the sector. Unfortunately, the best companion so far has been Exterminated, along with literally every other human on the planet. And despite it all, the Doctor refuses to use the Delta Wave, leading to the Daleks cornering him. And then Bad Wolf Rose shows up and fixes everything.

Conclusion Edit

With the plot essentially ended, Jack restored to endless life, and Rose dying of Time Vortex overdose, the Doctor decides to spare her life by absorbing the energy of the Time Vortex into himself and regenerating into a cunt.

That said, the episode was fantastic. And you know what? So was he.

QuotesEdit

"THE BODIES WERE FILLETED, PULPED, SIFTED, THE SEED OF THE HUMAN RACE IS PERVERTED, ONLY ONE CELL IN A BILLION WAS FIT TO BE NURTURED" - Barry Scott.

"THERE AREN'T ANY DALIKS, THEY DISSAPEAYED, THASANDAIERSAGO" - Greedy black man, shortly before being shot by a Dalek.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we're at war." - Russell T. Davies's idea of how Americans talk.

Independent Study QuestionsEdit

  1. If the entire human race was gone, what was staying the Doctor's hands anymore?
    • Is he, indeed, coward or killer?
  2. How do the events of The Day of the Doctor affect your enjoyment of The Parting of the Ways, and vice-versa? Does the Moment's disguise as the Bad Wolf make any kind of sense given everything we've seen?
    • Is it possible that, after the events of The Day of the Doctor, the Doctor hid the Moment inside the TARDIS console?
  3. Is the Bad Wolf Rose, or is it the TARDIS posessing Rose? Note the special effects used in The Doctor's Wife when it's giving the corpse they're flying in a lesbian kiss to get it started up.
    • Also there's all that "my Doctor" stuff, which is fucking creepy in every direction.
  4. What kind of resolution is that to the whole Bad Wolf thing, anyways?
  5. Seriously, wouldn't Paterson Joseph have been a fucking GOAT Doctor? Have you ever seen Neverwhere? He's Doctor as shit in that.
  6. Why did Eccleston leave Doctor Who?
  7. Seriously, that's the resolution to the Bad Wolf thing? The fuck was RTD on?

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