|“||Water is spooky kids.||”|
The Pilot (fuck you Moffat, A Star in Her Eye was a much more interesting and memeable title) is the first episode of Series 10 and is written by Steamboat Boffin, possessed by the ancient spirit of Rassilon T. Omega.
The Doctor and Nardole team up with the server of chips and Pete to travel through time just for the sake of doing so while getting chased by a puddle. Bill's a lesbo and she'll let you know it in the most rushed relationship since Clara and Danny's. Yadda yadda the Doctor pretends he doesn't care again even though he does and almost wipes their minds but doesn't (gasp). Nardole hovers around doing nothing again and some vault gets introduced.
Also.... the Titles are Out of Sync again!
So we get introduced to Bill, who is a dinner lady and known feeder/enabler of fatties. The Doctor decides to save her from herself by tutoring her for free. Being a rugmuncher, she of course gives him a rug in return. Bravo Moff. Pete's there too, being beta.
Anyway Bill is crushing on a girl called Heather who wants to travel somewhere and conveniently gets sucked into
the Abzorbaloff's arse a puddle of intelligent fuel (although not so conveniently for Bill, as this occurs before she and Heather have had a proper opportunity to lez out.)
Waterfu chases Bill, Nardole, Pete, and the Doctor to Australia and then to the end of the universe (which are much the same thing really.) Eventually Bill twigs Heather is waiting for her and releases her after a brief but very wet encounter.
My two cents Edit
Essentially it's Bill's story - Moffat's Rose if you will (there's even the same alarm clock shot) and it works pretty well IMO. Bill comes across as a real person and not a quip-spouting 2D meme caricature which makes for a refreshing change. As based McWhan pointed out in his review, Nardole (aka. The Watcher) gives Moffat the perfect foil for his comic tendencies (and Matt Lucas is really good at delivering them), leaving Bill free to react to shit (like her first Bigger on the inside moment) a bit more realistically. (Well yes there is a toilet quip but come on, it's an important question in its own right.)
It's early days yet but definitely a decent beginning for S10.
The episode was originally announced as "A Star in Her Eye", which everyone loved because they knew that in a few weeks they'd be able to complain "Fuck you Moffat, another title that just sounds cool but is completely meaningless like Hell Bent?" But then, at the last minute, they changed it to "The Pilot", which is much less fun, because now they have to complain about it now instead of anticipating complaining about it later.
According to Steven Moffat, the reason for the change is simple:
'The Pilot' is the name both fandom and the BBC have been using for decades to refer to the original version of 'An Unearthly Child', before they revised and reshot it. This change will make it a huge pain in the arse for anyone who ever wants to buy the actual pilot episode on DVD or search for information about it online again. And trolling our own fans is hilarious. Notice that we've also called an episode 'Thin Ice'? Yeah, just wait for my last Christmas special, it's called 'The Runaway Bride'. Hahaha, can you believe I still have fans to fuck with?
Notably features the return of Campaldi
Marks the first time since the classic series that two companions join the crew in the same episode.
Did I mention Bill was gay?