Hey, remember in Mindwarp how Peri got brutally murdered in a gloriously unfair way by having her body taken over? And remember how about 5 episodes later it was revealed that she had actually been saved and went off to be married to Brian Blessed? And remember how NO ONE liked that retcon (including Nicola Bryant herself), and we just wanted to ignore that bit and pretend that she truly did die?

...Yeah, Big Finish do a lot of great things, but this isn't one of them.

The Widow's Asshole is a Colin Sixer audio, and it was the 192nd release in the Big Finish Main Range. It was written by Peri's boyfriend Nev Fountain, and it's sort of a followup to his earlier Peri and the Piscon Paradox.

Plot/Review Edit


It's canon: Queen Peri has grey hair. Still hot tho.

This is quite possibly the most needlessly overcomplex storyline in the entire Doctor Who franchise (probably only beaten by the works of John Peel). The Doctor going back to visit Peri on Krontep after he seemingly abandoned her on Thoros Beta and trying to make amends with her while a murder mystery is afoot, with the shocking plot twist that Kiv was successfully transplanted all along was all that was necessary here, but a fuck ton of other elements get shoved into the mix to the point where this pretty much becomes a Steven Moffat script. No, I'm being genuinely serious; plot-convenient occurrences like Kiv-inside-Peri's-body having built an entire lab identical to the one on Thoros Beta under a throne room that isn't even hers, timey-wimey involving the Doctor travelling back to befriend two different rivaling alien warlords just to find out whether or not they murdered Brian Blessed, needless additional plot-twists like the two aforementioned rivaling alien warlords secretly being allies all along and aiding Peri/Kiv in her plan, LOADS of admittedly likable but completely unnecessary comedy characters (including the two aforementioned alien warlords, two guards who are literally called "Guard 1" and "Guard 2", a guy who has an obsession with Peri, and a robot-voiced thing who likes to collect brain parasites and hang them on his wall), abstract trippy concepts like Peri trapped inside the Doctor's mind with his subconscious nagging at her, a moment where it seems like the Doctor is about to die but he has a Deus Ex Machina up his sleeve, pretentious fairytale dialogue bookending the story... even an "EVERYBODY LIVES" moment, where the Doctor reveals - after plenty of hints that she had perished in a spaceship crash - that he rescued his previous companion Flip using the most overpowered box in the universe, and that he had received an invitation to her wedding.

Easily the most unnecessary part of the story by far is the "shocking revelation" that Kiv is not actually Kiv after all, but Mandrake - the Doctor's childhood imaginary enemy, that was uploaded into Peri's mind when it got released into the brain transplant machine after the Doctor was regressed to the mentality of a 5 year old or whatever.

There are pluses to this story, like the imaginative nature of the worlds and characters shown to us, and a lot of the comedy is great. The best segment is when the Doctor and Peri swap bodies, with Colin Baker and Nicola Bryant having to try and do impressions of each others' characters that both just sound absolutely glorious.

But seriously, Nev Fountain; don't be afraid to cut a few chunks out of your scripts, man. This one could've seriously done with that.

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.