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Reading Doctor Who and an Exciting Adventure with a Naked Teenaged Prostitute will probably make you feel dirty and used, as though you had been raped.

Consider this book the subsequent therapy that you need.

Quick Trivia Edit

  • The Timewyrm is back, but kind of cool and kind of not cool at the same time
  • The War Chief
  • Uncle Tewwy wrote it!
  • The War Chief
  • The War Chief
  • Starring Doctor Who and his whacky pal Hitler!
  • The War Chief
  • The War Chief
  • Lots of actual history in this one
  • The War Chief
  • The War Chief
  • The War Chief
  • Contrary to popular fan belief, the War Lords weren't erased from history, only removed from it, which actually kind of fits with the exact words the Time Lords used, so given a Time Lord's help, they could escape...
  • The War Chief
  • The War Chief
  • The War Chief
  • Timey-Wimey stuff here
  • THE WAR CHIEF!!!
  • THE WAR CHIEF!!!
  • THE WAR CHIEF!!!
  • ...Did I mention that I really like the idea of the War Chief? Though I admit in many ways he might as well be the Master...

Doctor Who and his Whacky Pal Hitler by Uncle Tewwy Edit

TL;DR Version: Edit

Everybody fights for custody over Hitler's brain, but there's no Judge Judy, so they have to settle it among themselves by duking it out and acting like assholes to each other. Actually a lot better than it sounds.

Full Version: Edit

Okay, this is a bit of a timey-wimey story, but it's done cleverly.

So the Doctor and Ace go to London in 1951, but it turns out that it's a totalitarian state, so obviously the Conservative Party and the Labour Party cast their differences aside and ruled together, combining both of their cancers. Nah, I'm funnin' you! Turns out, the timeline got altered and the Nazis took over the UK, which actually makes more historical sense than the Nazis taking over America or Russia like most AUs featuring Axis victory do. In order to make things the way they should be, they go back to Germany long ago and figure out what the fuck went wrong.

When they do go there, they discover that what they should be asking is, what the fuck didn't go wrong?

First of all, the SS has been infiltrated by the War Chief and the War Lords. Yep, turns out that they weren't erased from history, which actually makes sense because the Time Lords never said "never existed", but rather "as if they never existed". They just atomized the OG War Lord and just put the planet and people he used to lead on infinite loop in one minute in time, and with the War Chief still alive, they were able to get out of it. Granted, because he got shot, the War Chief was not able to properly regenerated and turned into a horribly deformed mutant as a result. They are using the SS to make the elite police troopers terribly unafraid of death, so basically normal Nazi German cops and soldiers, since frankly the Yanks and Cossacks discovered that the Krauts and Japs were pretty defeatable given that you remembered that the Japs and Krauts were so unafraid of death that they had no sense of self-preservation, and more dangerously, no initiative to protect their comrades from harm. But anyway, yeah, the War Lords are trying to use zombies to make a Nazi Universe. Half of /pol/'s users would love it.

Secondly, and more importantly from the Doctor's perspective for reasons that aren't always entirely justified in the story, our Whacky Pal Hitler has been partially possessed by the Timewyrm, and it raises questions about how much of it is really him and how much of it is just the Timewyrm's influence, which gets all sad and stuff. A story that makes you feel for Hitler. It's a lot better than it sounds. But anyway, turns out the Timewyrm is in as much danger as anybody else, because the Timewyrm got trapped in Hitler's mind, and he channeled its power to win WWII, hence the stuff about England becoming all Nazis.

Of course Hitler is convinced that he doesn't need the Timewyrm, expelling it from his brain, the War Lords get blown up and the War Chief apparently regenerates into a satanically handsome man. The Doctor and Ace stroll off to their next adventure, which sadly isn't as good as this one. But the one after that one is better.

Critical Analysis Edit

As you have already guessed, it's good, just terribly difficult to describe because it's a bit timey-wimey, but it's easy enough to understand, ironically. Even more ironically, Uncle Tewwy understands the Seventh Doctor and Ace better than John Peel. The War Chief seems to be treated as both a completely different guy from the Master and as exactly the same as the Master, which is the source of all of the debate and confusion. I just sit back and eat popcorn watching the arguments unfold. Anyway, maybe this book would have been better if it turned out that the Master showed up and helped the SS with cool shiznit, and nothing more complicated than that, rather the number of sub-plots we got, but said sub-plots kind of connect nicely at times, so it's all good. When we go to Nazi Germany, it's actually remarkably historically accurate, and all while being written in the cheerfully descriptive style of the Target novelizations, just longer. Yeah, the guy who didn't write the Seventh Doctor was ironically better than the guys who did. Kind of sad, isn't it?

A subtly inserted theme in this story is "what makes us different from them?" This is achieved through treating the Nazis as humans who believe in and do bad things rather than inherently comical monsters, through the use of an alternate Nazi UK, and the War Lords doing their shit. Unlike the prior book, this book is GOAT.

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