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Trolling is not just posting any stupid shit and hoping for a reaction.

Well, actually, that's exactly what it is, but there are better ways than others to do it right.

The Art of Trolling (Or, Trolling like a boss)Edit

Sometimes, trolling is started by the act of baiting.  Other times, trolling is a response to an attempt to bait.  Sometimes trolling has nothing to do with baiting.  Regardless, trolling, like everything else, tends to follow Sturgeon's Law: "90% of everything is crud".  Trolling is, tragically, by no means an exception.  Most attempts to troll are just shitty failtrolls that never fucking work.  

But there is a way to do it right.  

See, trolling is an art, filled with many subtlties and nuances, one that primarily boils down to fucking with people.  The easiest and arguably fairest ways to troll well are usually to arguing with somebody who, if he calmed his fucking tits, could have easily owned you, but is too blinded by rage to think of a good way counter your arguments, ultimately ending with his arguments gradually degenerating into childish ad hominem before he finally ragequits.  That's how you troll very well very easily. Don't use cheating strategies like hacks and trying to post obviously over-aggressive bait. Be a good sport...it brings more satisfying and soul-crushing results.

For example, throughout British Classic Doctor Who Facebook groups, you are going to find people who just unironically shit on Tom Baker and call him the worst Doctor because The Deadly Assassin ruined their headcanon and because Hinchcliffe and Williams Who are very unlike NuWho.  Now it's fine to like some things and dislike others, but the way they hate on the Fourth Doctor is so abysmally stupid and tends to reek so strongly of failtrolling, or even just being a pathetic hipster that's trying to feel artificially special, that one can hardly look at them without cringing, or without seeing them as the sort who are easily trolled proper, for that matter.  These people are easy to mop the floor with in an argument, and all you need to do when you create enough rage is to sit back and enjoy your popcorn.

For example:

Just start with an innocent question in response to a shitty failtroll baitpost about why they hate Tom Baker so much.  They will probably start with saying that "The Deadly Assassin is absolute shit!" Then respond.  Let them think that they have you reeled in, to give them a false sense of security, thus they fail to realize that they caught a great white shark that will drag the whole boat down with them.  

Start very innocently, just asking "why?" Then they will respond by going on about how "it made the Time Lords chumps!" (even though, ironically, The Invasion of Time is far more guilty of that than The Deadly Assassin ever was or ever will be).  He's all the more certain that he's reeled you in, that he's going to trigger you.  

Respond by saying "but that doesn't say anything about the rest of of the Tom Baker stories".  Realizing that his bluff is about to be called, he'll say something more desparate and stupid, like "because they were all shit!" Then now is your chance to have him.  Start subtly by asking "why are they all shit?" He'll respond with "because Tom Baker was too silly!"

He unknowingly opened a window of opportunity for you.  Start with "but he was rather grave and serious at times in The Ark in Space , Genesis of the Daleks , Terror of the Zygons , Pyramids of Mars , and The Brain of Morbius ."  Now you hold the reel.  He will respond with, "yeah, but he wasn't serious enough!" Then you will respond with "well, what would you recommend?" This guy will probably respond with "Patrick Troughton" because he's either a hipster trying to be a special little snowflake, or a failtroll.  

Then finish him off with this: "Oh, you mean, the same Patrick Troughton that dressed up as a washerwoman and based a guy on the head while doing a campy take on a German accent in The Highlanders? That Patrick Troughton? So he's not too silly, but Tom Baker is, is that it?" You've got the upper hand.  Now drag the whole boat down.  He will counter by telling you that you that "I've never seen him do that! You made that up!" Then give him a link confirming that this was in the script of The Highlanders and it most certainly never got cut.  

Publically humiliated in front of his friends for not being the Doctor Who expert he sold himself as, he will go into psycho-rants about how the BBC toasted the Troughton years and Tom Baker became popular because the public are all retarded and the BBC only cares about making money from the public, and will intentionally exterminate art to control their minds.  How that last statement connects with the former statements is beyond me, and you can point this out.  Then finish this loser off.  

Ignore whatever debilitated, childish ad hominem he has left for you and just simply state that, following the playwright's rules of Aristotle, technically, characterization is never as important as the story itself.  He'll try to repeat what you just said, but deliberately misspelled, to make you look dumb, but all it does is make him look like an ass.  You win.  And the best part is, he cast the final blow for you.  Everybody will now go after him like vultures and keep trying to virtue-signal by reminding everybody else how stupid he is.

Congratulations! Patrick Troughton and Tom Baker both give you gold badges for Trollmatical Excellence!

Known FailTrollsEdit

  • le_m3ddling_m0nk, who like most failtrolls, tried to win by cheating, and of course got trolled himself by a far l33ter troll, the First Doctor.
  • le_cel33tial_t0ym4ker_of_d00m.  Like many failtrolls, he just kept cheating and haxxing, and then got totally pwned by a far better troll.
  • le_slith33n. They were terrible at it (derp!).
  • xxx_Eric_S4w4rd_xxx. He's based in some ways, but in other ways, he comes across as a huge failtroll.
  • l4wr3nce_mi13s. Like Saward, he's based in some ways, but also like Saward, he can sometimes come across as a huge failtroll. Bitch please!
  • i4n_l3vine, and like the most newby of failtrolls, if you give him the right response, he'll somehow manage to troll himself for you. Y U NO leave the bait alone?
  • le_Abz0rb4l0ff, who - like Ian Levine, who he was based upon - was pathetically bad at trolling, and easily lost to a far better troll.
  • mich43l_gr4de. I mean, he tried to cancel Doctor Who, dafuq brah? Not the worst failtroll though.
  • The average YouTuber.  Always tries, and always gets pwned by somebody infinitely more competent.  Just like the Monk.  He probably has a YouTube account.  And then the First Doctor uses his account to publically pwn the Monk and make him GTFO.  Again.
  • This wiki's userbase.
  • You.  You suck at trolling. Git gud you fucking n00b.
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Known WinTrollsEdit

  • #DocNumbah1; and he did it with swag, though he occasionally got trolled himself. gg bro no re
  • #Upvote4CosmicHobo, and he trolled a ton, like the herpiest of the derps! :3
  • #BasedBaker, who frequently demonstrated the art of trolling at its most sophisticated levels.  Easily one of the two best Doctors at it.
  • #ZOMGits7; it was all he ever fucking did.  Easily one of the two best Doctors at the art of trolling.
  • #InUrBaseStealingUrCrisps, though he was often reserved about this.
  • #MoarGurningPls, who liked to show off his trolling skillz, even though he sometimes cheated. Deal with it, bitch.
  • #DerpySarahXD.  Most every poor newb who ever encountered her never knew what they were up against until it was far too late.
  • #DelgadoNoMeGusta.  It was all he ever fucking did.
  • #SimmHype, and while he tended to use shortcuts, he was extremely good.
  • #ICanHazExterminate, and they trolled a lot! Exterminate ALL THE THINGS xD
  • #OsiriansFTW, who were an entire race of pacifistic trolls, (with the except of Sutekh, who was still a troll).  Paradise.
  • #StevenMoff4g, who might be possessed by Sutekh's surviving conciousness. But that's just a theory. *puts on sunglasses* ... a game theory!

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