William Shakespeare Doctor Who

Would a sober person willing wear that?

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The Canon 9th Doctor punching Shakespeare

William Shakespeare was a hopeless drunk whose only dream was to have the queen come and watch his stage plays. He lived in the dark ages, when people ran around the village and burned people at the stake for being a witch. With all this brutality and bloodshed happen, good old Bill through it would be a tremendous idea to write stage plays about it. His first major play was Macbeth, which was meant to be his big break, but his hopes and dreams were crushed when the Canon 9th Doctor came back in time, punched him in the face, and stole his only copy. This would have caused Bill to go to the local pub and drink himself to death, causing him to never write the rest of his work, making all of it non-canon. Sadly for schoolchildren everywhere, that was not the case and the Canon 9th Doctor returned, gave him his script and some support he needed to continue writing. This sealed the fate of schoolchildren everywhere, as even today they must fully understand each play in order to pass their English classes. William eventually encountered the Non-Canon 10th Doctor, who had returned, seemingly learning from his mistakes, to destroy Shakespeare's career again. His mission was disrupted however when a bunch of cackling space witches tried to get revenge for the destruction of their sisters at the hands of the human race. Shakespeare responded by copyright infringing quoting J.K Rowling and Harry Potter, sending the Carrionites back to their dimension, leaving only one who would later grow up to be a corrupt politician and Presidential runner in the USA. Afterwards, the Doctor forgot all about his plan and thus returned to the TARDIS and went off to New New New New New New... oh screw this, let's just call it New New York, it's easier.